


Break That Way

by jg82



Series: Time After Time [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Divergence, F/F, F/M, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-21 23:23:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12468292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jg82/pseuds/jg82
Summary: It’s the same thing every night. For just a few torturous hours, she’s yanked into a dreamscape where things are vividly different from reality...but only by the carnal shift of feelings.





	1. I'm Not Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I was suppose to be writing chapter 38 for 'Of Stable Boys, Heroes, Mothers and Villains', but my imagination has been rather cruel to me in my sleep the past few days--especially last night--and I had to share the torture with someone else to hopefully resolve it.
> 
> It's not uncommon for me to dream entire romances with past loves, known acquaintances, or outright strangers. My mind loves to play 'what if' scenarios. It's not normal, however, for me to dream these whirlwind relationships night after night, a different woman each time, with the results always ending the same. I've gone from divorced mothers (who are not divorced in real life), to single lovers (who are also not single in real life), to--unpleasantly so last night--a (not real) widower.
> 
> I find no pleasure come daylight when these dreams come to an end. Instead, I'm left yearning, gut punched with no sliver of hope that any of those encounters could come remotely true. Nor would I even want someone to suffer in certain ways just so I could have those experiences. Morpheus is a disturbed mistress right now, and I'm using Emma to vent away my own frustrations.
> 
> I have no idea how long this will be, but I'm placing it mid season 3b where Robin is in the picture, but Emma's not leaning towards Hook yet and Zelena is still wreaking havoc.

     It’s the same thing every night.

     For just a few torturous hours, she’s yanked into a dreamscape where things are vividly different from reality...but only by the carnal shift of feelings. 

     Dark hair, dark eyes, a low timber and knowing fingers touch her.

     Taste her.

     Trail across her hypersensitive skin.

     Sometimes painted lips draw her in with words of honey sweet affection.

     Other times they just kiss her into submission.

     Either way, the entire ordeal is troubling, and leaves her aching in more ways than one come morning.

     Sighing, Emma took a long slow sip of her luke warm coffee, blinking herself back to the present and away from her disturbed thoughts.

     She sat alone at the station, unable to stand being in the presence of anyone too long--worried they might see the torment in her eyes and start asking questions. She wanted a distraction--needed one to help her get through the day.

     Same as yesterday.

     And the day before.

     Hearing the door to the station suddenly pop open, Emma pauses, listening for a second to determine who was entering by their footfalls. When she registers heavy boots, she sets her coffee down and grabs the keys for the cruiser, disappearing in a wisp of grey smoke before David makes it far enough around the corner to spot her vanishing.

     Another heavy sigh escapes her as she appears just down the street in an alleyway, pulling out her cell phone and waiting for the call she knows is coming seconds before her phone actually rings.

     “Hey, dad,” she greets as cheerily as she can muster. “Yeah, I’m out walking a beat, was tired of being cooped up inside, y’know?”

     She stepped out from between the buildings, making sure not to make eye contact with people passing by her so they don’t stop her for a chat.

     She chuckles at the joke he makes about her watching too many cop dramas. 

     Then he asks a question that has her emotionally locking right up.

_      “Are you sure you’re ok?” _

_      No _ , she thinks.

     “Yeah,” she lies easily instead. “Yeah I’m fine. Promise. I’m just going to finish up my patrol and then I’ll be back.”

_      “Ok,” _ he sighs, and Emma ends the call, weariness settling into her.

     What was she suppose to tell him?

     The truth?

     That she can’t stop dreaming about--

     “Emma,” someone calls out from across the street, stopping her mid stride, snapping her attention up to meet inquisitive hazel eyes.

     Her breath catches.

     “Regina.”

 

*****

 

     She’s tensing before the brunette can finish crossing the pavement to reach the sidewalk. Regina will see it, sense it even if she forces herself to relax.

      Lying to one another is just something they aren't good at.

      “You’re a hard woman to find,” murmurs the Mayor as she steps up beside her--lips tilted slightly in humor, but her eyes are asking-- _ where have you been? _

     Emma’s insides are twisting with a foray of emotions.

     Anxiety.

     Confusion.

     Yearning.

_      Comfort. _

     A part of her finds a deep familiarity in standing beside the older woman. A kind of peace she has never really known before--except with her.

     Always with her.

     Even that first year.

     The rest of her, however, is unable to decide if it wants to flee, or step closer to the woman to breath in her, to savor her apple cinnamon scent and overflowing body heat.

     “Emma,” Regina questions, her smile falling, a frown starting to crease her brows as she remains mute.

     She clears her throat, trying to collect her emotions and put some words together.

     “I, uh...,” she fidgets, then starts walking again, knowing Regina will fall into step beside her. “I’m sorry,” she tries, meaning it. “I’ve been busy, y’know?”

     The older woman nods at that truth.

     She has been busy.

     They all have.

_      Especially her and...Robin. _

     Emma physically winces at the thought.

      Regina catches the movement, Emma can see it in her peripheral, but doesn’t call her on it. Taking in a steadying breath, Emma shoves her hands into her pockets and glances around them, realizing they have been walking aimlessly towards the docks.

     Where Hook has taken to hanging out.

     When he’s not trailing after her, longingly, of course.

     Emma turns the corner before they can go down that route, choosing instead to continue her impromptu patrol.

     “Has the handless wonder been getting to you,” Regina asks, breaking the silence that had settled between them for half a block. Her question comes out curious, but Emma can feel her stiffening beside her, anticipating an unpleasant response.

     She never did like the man, especially after Neverland.

     She shakes her head, offering Regina a slight smirk. “No more than usual. I figure, once this whole thing with your sister is over, I’ll find a way to bring his first love back and he’ll set sail, hopefully never to be seen again.”

     Regina bites her lip to keep from smiling in humorous delight.

     Emma can’t help but zero in on that.

     They way her teeth pull and nibble. 

     The flushing and puffing of that dark lip as she works on it.

     The sight that’s left behind when she eventually lets it go.

     She has to force herself to drag her eyes away before Regina’s own caramel gaze catches her staring.

     A tingling has started to consume her body, spreading up from her hands, tickling at her ears, then flushing down her torso. She can’t tell if it’s magic, desire, both, or something else all together.

     All she knows is that she needs to distance herself from Regina before she does something they’ll both regret.

     “I think I’m going to go out and check the farmhouse again,” she suddenly states, stopping them both in their tracks. “I don’t like the idea of Rumpelstiltskin still being out there somewhere, nor Zelena having control over him.”

     “I don’t want you going out there alone,” the brunette replies, worry etching its way across her face. “I’d rather you--”

     “I’ll have David go with me,” she cuts in before Regina can volunteer to join her.

     She just can’t right now.

     No matter how much she wants to.

     The brunette stiffens even more, either at the rejection or her rudeness she can’t be sure. But she finally nods and says, “Alright. Fine. Just let me know if you find anything,” before turning and walking back the way they had come.

     Emma’s shoulders sag, partially relieved, and partially dismayed by the woman leaving. It’s like a string tethered between them that just keeps growing tighter and thicker each time they get together and part.

     Was it the practicing magic together that started all of this?

     Or was it the unexpected appearance of Regina’s supposed _soul mate_?

     Emma glowers.

     Whatever it is, something is going to have to give here soon, or their tentative friendship is going to break.

     She doesn't want that.

     Not for Henry.

     And selfishly, not for herself either.


	2. Late Night Contemplations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking up from the first chapter, this takes place after episode 3x19 where everyone has their memories back, but before 3x20 when Snow gives birth. Neal is dead, Rumpel is crazy, Hook’s lips are still cursed, and Regina and Robin have had a few dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a lot harder writing from Regina's perspective than I perceived when starting this. Emma I get. I've been where Emma's at, emotionally. But I've never been on Regina's end of things. I hope, for this story at least, I've done it justice.

     It was dark out.

     Robin had offered, almost insisted, in walking her home from their..second...third impromptu date, but she had waved him off.

     Sweet as he was--and the man was charmingly so--her mind had grown heavy, clouded with more than Zelena’s looming threats, and she needed the time and space to let it all just...settle.

     Drawing in a deep breath, the late fall air filling her nostrils and lungs with a nip of impending frost, she glanced around her, taking in the dim streetlights and few bar stragglers trying to stumble home. She swore she saw Hook sway around a corner, mumbling to himself, but she couldn’t be bothered to follow just to be sure.

     His continued presence, along with other things, was apart of the swirling chaos distracting her from what, had reasonably been, a nice time with Robin.

     Sighing, lowering her head, she put one foot in front of the other and continued onward. 

     There was just so much to...take in, to process--even in just the last few days, let alone the pat year. 

     Pan.

     Rumpel.

     That horrid afternoon at the town line.

     NEVER had Regina felt so heartbroken, and brave, as she did when she made the decision to love Henry enough to let him go. To give him the life he had truly been destined to deserve.

     The reminder of that moment brought a rush of tears to her eyes, and Regina lifted her head, tilting it back far enough in hopes they wouldn’t spill over.

     Even absent of heart, she ached for her son so.

     Throat flexing, resisting with sheer willpower, she reigned her emotions in, not wanting to be consumed by them in such an open space.

     She could care less what the town folk thought or saw of her.

     It wasn’t a matter of pride.

     It was a necessity of survival.

     If she gave in to the torrent of feelings thundering within her, she would crumble to pieces, losing what few threads of herself she could still identify with.

     The Evil Queen, the once mighty and feared terror of the Enchanted Forest, was nothing more than a torn apart mother trying to get by from one day to the next. It was something Robin understood. One of the many comparative experiences they had between them.

     But they also weren’t alone in that.

    Realizing--as she finally lowered her head--that she had somehow walked herself away from the direction of her home, Regina saw the town cemetery just off to her right.

     Her soul practically buckled at the sight of it.

     And the lone individual within.

     There, sitting just outside of the shadows, rested a familiar red leather clad blond.

_      Emma. _

     The wild green eyed daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, the Savior, the mother of her son, was one of the big issues weighing her down. The year apart had been just as unkind to her as it had to them, if not more so.

     Zelena, in all her wicked sisterly genius, had found the cruelest way possible to deliver blow after blow to the once vibrant young woman. Ones in which Emma could not punch back like she had done to Regina once upon a time.

     When Henry had first talked about New York, and Emma’s beau Walsh, she had felt a twinge of...something in association with his mother. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, but she had instantly disliked any notion of the man, in both Henry,  _ and _ Emma’s, life.

     However, when it was later revealed that Walsh had been one of Zelena’s minions sent to distract and toy with the blond, Regina’s heart had clenched with pain for the young woman. Whether Emma had truly loved Walsh was mute. The knowledge that her fragile emotions had been played, was gut wrenching.

      Then Zelena took Mr. Cassidy from her.

     And Henry.

     And Regina had felt a crack form within her for the damaged princess.

     “Why are you out alone,” came a raspy, but gently inquisitive voice.

     Slowly crossing dew stained pavement, like a moth to a flame, Regina came to a stop just feet from the makeshift bench Emma had set up across from Neal’s grave.

     “I could ask you the same,” she replied softly, unsure if her company was truly wanted or not.

     They didn’t talk are act like they use to.

     Especially after getting their memories back.

     Something, a chord between them, had changed.

     Sliding over slightly, making visible room on the bench, Emma brought the bottle of beer she had resting between her fingers up to her lips.

     Taking a steadying breath, Regina hesitantly lowered herself until she was sitting beside the woman, staring at the still very fresh grave.

     It reminded her all to vividly of Daniel, and she was torn between wanting to run away, and wanting to be here for Emma so she knew she wasn’t alone in this.

     “Does it make me a horrible person that I miss him, even after everything that he had done,” the blond quietly pondered aloud.

     “No,” she instantly replied, resolved to remain where she was at. “Not at all.”

     “It’s not even for Henry, y’know,” Emma revealed, taking another drag from her drink. “I just...” she shrugged. “Short of the bug, and a few boxes of photographs, he was all I had of my life before,” she gestured around them, “all of this.”

     Regina nodded.

     She could understand that.

     “And he got me,” the blond added, hand coming up to rest against her scarf covered chest. “He understood how I ticked, why I...,” she faltered, frowning as she searched for the right words. “Am the way I am, I guess,” she sighed, shoulders slumping, head lowering in a way Regina despised seeing.

     It looked a lot like defeat.

     Like Emma was some fragile broken doll.

     “I’m afraid I can’t relate,” she replied, her own gaze lowering to clenched fingers. “Short of Henry, and your mother, I’ve never had anyone get that...close to me, before.” She sighed as well. “Not anyone who’s still alive, at least.” Shifting to face the other woman more easily, she paused in thought for a moment, before saying, “But I imagine it must have been very...special. Freeing, perhaps, to have someone like that in your life.”

     Emma nodded and gave a wet chuckle, eyes sparkling forest green as tears threatened to spill over pink dusted cheeks. Even in the moonlight, tattered and worn down, the blond glowed.

     When a fond smile tugged at the corner of her lips, being pulled by what seemed to be good memories, Regina couldn’t help being captured by her. Three years, two curses, and multiple lands over, Emma was still one of the most intriguing people she had ever known.

     With her heart broken, her will tested, and trust shattered, she still managed to find strength within herself to carry forward. Even in a moment like this, where she sat with a woman responsible for a great deal of her past, and current, pain.

     “Do you think there are other realities out there,” Emma suddenly questioned, breaking her from her musings.

     Brow furrowing, she asked, “What do you mean?”

     “Like,” the younger woman tilted her head away, eyes lost in the nearby tree-line, “somewhere out there is another me, and another you, but different.” She glanced back for a second. “Y’know what I mean?”

     Nodding slowly, digesting what Emma was trying to ask, she replied thoughtfully, “If we hold true to this world’s explanation of multiple realms, it would stand to reason that other realities--and versions of ourselves--could exist.” She eyed the woman curiously, her gaze still settled beyond them. “Do you think,” she cleared her throat, uncomfortable with the inquiry forming on her tongue, “perhaps there is another place, or...time where you and...Mr. Cassidy never parted ways?”

     “Maybe,” Emma murmured, strong fingers tracing the mouth of her almost empty beer bottle in contemplation. “Or maybe we were never meant to be more than friends.”

     That surprised Regina.

     Shrugging, the blond unexpectedly sat back, gloved hands stretching out behind her to rest on the ground so she could face the stars above.

     “Sometimes,” she said, “I think we confuse affection and love.”

     “How do you mean?”

     The entire shift in conversation had her completely off guard.

     Biting her lip, eyes narrowing once more in search of words, Emma responded, “Like, did I really love Neal in the way that my parents love one another, or did I love the idea of him? Or what he offered me?” Those verdin eyes shifted her way again. “I think we settle for what anyone will offer us when we’ve been hurt, and alone, for too long.”

     Regina felt her breath leave her at that.

     Was Emma trying to allude to something?

     Did she know?

     Could she see the way Regina found herself holding back from the man supposedly destined to be her soulmate?

     “I don’t think it’s any less real,” Emma quickly added, as if sensing her distress, “The love I had for Neal was definitely honest...But it makes me...I don’t know...realize that Neal and I likely never would have worked out, no matter what.” Letting her head fall back at an angle that had Regina wincing, Emma sighed and finished quietly, “I would like to think, somewhere, out there, I deserve better.”

     Her throat too constricted with emotion for her to reply, Regina sat--staring off into the shadows--beside the mother of her son, mind swirling with  _ ‘what ifs’ _ and imagined possibilities.  


	3. Threads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things clearly diverge from canon here. I think I finally have a solid idea on where this is going and I just...whew, it's gonna be a ride.
> 
> Let's enjoy, hmmm?

     This dream was different than the others.

     Emma could feel it.

     The colors were more vivid--shades of red, black, grey, and green, blending together.

     Her senses were tangible--crisp air filling her lungs, silk gracing across her skin, pain, loss, and hunger. 

     Even her awareness was sharper than it had been before.

     The only thing that remained the same was the way she seemed to jump around, or shift, between things.

     One minute she was talking to Regina outside of Granny’s diner, the other woman vibrating heartache and rage, then the next she was in the Enchanted Forest facing her in a crowded ballroom. From there she bounced back to Storybrooke, only to be violently yanked away once more to a land she had never seen.  

     Their conversations were fragmented, Regina mainly being the one to speak, but Emma got the gist of each before they traded off.

_      ‘You’re just like your mother, never thinking of consequences!’ _

_      ‘Snow White may have left the party early, but I suspect your night has just begun.’ _

_      ‘You thought we were friends?’ _

_      ‘It feels good, doesn’t? Indulging every impulse, wielding great power? Doing whatever you want?’ _

     Regret.

     Fascination.

     Surprise.

     Understanding.

     She felt them all.

     Whether these were only fantasies, or possibly something more, it was clear their lives--their choices--were heavily entangled. Looped and knotted over and over again like a spiraling dream catcher. 

     Did this mean what Emma had begun to desire, to accept about herself after last night, was possible?

     She had never expected to be caught by the older woman while visiting Neal, but when she had made the effort to approach, Emma readily offered the invitation to join her.

     The shared body warmth, and conversation, had filled her once again with a sense of peace that she could not imagine going without one more day. 

     Feeling a tugging on her consciousness, the clarity of her alternate state beginning to drift off, Emma drew her brow down tightly, becoming aware of a hand gripping her shoulder, shaking her and calling her name.

     “What,” she grumbled, unwilling to open her eyes upon her intruder in hopes they would quickly leave so she could go back to sleep.

     “Mom, you have to wake up.”

_      Henry. _

     Prying her eyelids to slits so she could at least make out his silhouette, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

     “It’s Gram,” he said, fingers encouraging her to sit up when she really didn’t want to move. “Her water broke. The baby’s coming!”

     Oh.

_      Oh! _

     Eyes cracking the rest of the way open, she drew in a sharp clearing breath.

     “Call your mom,” she rasped, clearing her throat, moving into a sitting position. “Tell her to meet us at the hospital.”

     “Already did that,” he replied, turning around so she could pull on her pants resting nearby.

     “How far apart are her contractions,” she wondered, sniffing one of her flannels before slipping it on, then reaching for a vest to wear over top.

     “Gramp says about three minutes.” He turned back to face her as she dragged her boots across the loft floor towards her. “He’s panicking.”

     Chuckling, Emma finished lacing up and stood, clasping her son on the shoulder affectionately. “Don’t worry kid, we’ve got this.”

     Taking in a deep breath, he nodded, following her out of the room. “I hope so.” 

 

*****

 

     “How is she,” was the first thing the brunette in a stunning red dress asked, and Emma couldn’t help but lower her head slightly to hide the way she blushed.

     “She’s good,” was her reply, followed by a chuckle when they both heard Snow suddenly cussing out Charming just beyond the wooden hospital door behind them.

     “Well let’s get the barrier spells up before Greeny decides to make an appearance,” she said, caramel eyes twinkling as she anxiously played with her fingers. “I’m not about to let her get her hands on that baby.”

     Goddammit if Emma didn’t just beam like an idiot right then and there.

     She couldn’t help it.

     The growth her and her parents had gone through in their relationship this past year, the development of their own partnership, enflamed Emma with such a profound sense of family that now--more than ever--she desperately wanted to cling to it.

     New York had been wonderful.

     Life, with just her and Henry, and been nice.

     Safe.

     She would love to return to it.

     But not alone.

     Not without Regina.

     Not without her soon to arrive sibling.

     “We’ve got you covered, your Majesty,” came a an English drawl behind her, and Emma stiffened as she spotted Robin Hood with a few of his  _ Merry _ Men all sporting cross and compact bows.

_      Seriously? _

     “Thank you,” Regina beamed at the forester, and Emma shifted away from the pair, instantly feeling the warm chords that had been coiling around them snap apart, fading into nothingness.

     “Let’s do this,” she cut in, tone tight, motioning for the other woman to take the lead on casting the spells.

     Back facing the man who unknowingly tore at her, leaving her conflicted about her wants versus Regina’s own, Emma raised her hands, leveled her shoulders with the brunettes, and channeled her magic.

     Her desires, her...turmoil, would have to wait for later.

     Right now they had a baby to protect and a witch to defeat.


	4. Break That Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

     For once, everything was finally more than she ever expected it could be.

     The town was safe, her sister was resting comfortably in a cell contemplating her future, she had her heart back, and she was happy.

     Tentatively, anxiously, so.

     Sitting in Granny’s diner, her...unconventional family around her, Regina wondered how this all came to be. 

     Was it a blessing?

     Had she earned it?

     Or was it all a temporary reprieve before the proverbial shoe eventually dropped?

     She believed in destiny, Robin by her side in due thanks to it.

     But she hardly trusted it.

     Fate had never been kind before.

     Why start now?

     “Well, what can I say,” David beamed, fondly reminiscing their sordid past with everyone, “my heart was destined for another.” 

     She reflexively squeezed Robin’s hand, and was pleased when he squeezed back in turn.

     “You just had to find her first,” Ruby laughed in recall. “She ran away and was living on a farm.”

     “Oh, that sounded like such a peaceful life at the time,” Snow sighed wistfully. “Leave everyone and everything behind.”

     “Like mother, like daughter,” murmured Hook, who seemed to be a bad smell she just could not get rid of.

_      Why was he even here? _

     Thanks to him, Emma had lost her magic, and she was certainly not a fan of him right now if the sharp glare she tossed his way was anything to go by.

     “What is he talking about,” asked Henry, hazel eyes flickering between the two, confusion blooming on his face. 

     Emma stiffened under the scrutiny, and Regina felt something cold slither across her skin.

     “Emma,” Snow questioned, her face mirroring her grandson’s as she rocked her newborn gently in her arms.

     “It’s nothing,” Emma insisted, waving them off.

     Regina sensed, however, it was anything but.

     “You’re not,” she paused, pursing her lips, unsure. “You don’t want to return to New York...do you?

     Surely the young woman understood her family was here?

     That all they had been through, what they were building, resided in this quaint little town.

     “Why would we go back,” Henry queried, visibly disturbed by the notion.

     “Henry,” the blond sighed, and instantly Regina saw it all again.

     The fatigue weighing her down.

     The pain still haunting forest eyes.

     The restlessness that had her constantly fidgeting, except in the rare moments it was just the two of them.

     Unexpectedly the young woman excused herself from the table, hitting the door to Granny’s in a not so subtle need for separation.

     “I’ll go talk to her,” Hook volunteered, moving to stand and follow.

     But Regina was already on her feet without thought, telling the man, “No. I’ll go,” leaving no room for argument.

     She was out on the chilly sidewalk seconds later, a distressed Emma pacing just a meter away.

     “What is it,” she asked kindly, not wanting to attack the mother of her son, no matter how riled she felt.

     They were better than that now.

     “Are you happy?”

     The question, so surprising, caught her off guard.

     “What?”

     Stopping in her tracks, turning and stepping into Regina’s personal space--the air around her vibrating with conflicting emotions--Emma asked again, “Are you happy?”

     “I....”  _ Yes _ , she answered in her mind.

     But the blond’s presence, her very sense of self standing before her, questioned exactly how so to a point that Regina found herself verbally hesitant.

     “Are you,” she wondered, even though she suspected she already knew the truth.

     Biting her lip, Regina watched as Emma’s expressive eyes flickered across her face, never settling, before glancing back to the diner behind them.

     What was she thinking?

     What had her so torn up like this?

     Before she could answer, a sudden blast of unbridled magic--and a roaring sound in the distance--caught their attention.

     Body stiffening, gaze moving to the sky just south of where they were, Regina spotted an unsettling pillar of swirling green chaos.

     “Shit,” Emma breathed beside her, their conversation done for the moment. “Is that what I think it is?”

     She shook her head. “It shouldn’t be,” she argued against building evidence. “We defeated her, stopped the spell before it could be completed.”

     “She can’t get of her cell, can she,” the blond inquired.

     “I don’t think so,” Regina shrugged, at a loss at what they were seeing. “But I should check it out nevertheless.”

     “You’re not going alone,” Emma immediately remarked, moving in step beside her.

     “No offense,” she retorted, pausing, stopping the other woman with a raised hand “But without your magic you’re useless.”

     “The hell I am,” the blond argued, visibly offended. “I”m not letting you go at...whatever that is, alone.”

     The passionate way she was so affronted by the notion instantly reminded her of Neverland, the diamond in the mines, the day the wraith came for her, and that moment on her porch just shortly after the curse had been broken.

     Was this how it would always be?

     Emma stepping in with her, no matter what?

     “Fine,” she replied, stomach knotted, her nerves rattled by the thought.

     A quick nod of relief from the younger woman, they were soon on the outskirts of town once more, the barn they had departed from hours earlier eerily illuminated with unstable magic.

     “I don’t like this,” she breathed, reaching out to stop the other woman before she could take a step forward. “Something has obviously gone wrong. The portal shouldn’t have opened all on its own.”

     The spell, ancient as it had been, was hardly volatile. 

     Nothing about it suggested a consciousness that could impart its own will.

     “Maybe Zelena got further with it than we thought,” Emma reasoned.

_      Perhaps. _

     “If that’s true,” she considered, “then we need to get back to the others. There is no telling what could happen to us, or them, if we don’t leave now.”

     “I want to stop at the station first,” Emma started, turning away from the barn, slipping into Sheriff mode with ease. “Make sure your sister is still there.”

     Nodding, she began to follow her, their footfalls crunching upon earth laden leaves.

     Distance though, seemed to mean nothing, as the hairs on her body began to raise, the air growing denser with magic.

     Then the doors to the barn suddenly blew open, and she felt a violent tug yank her off her feet.

     “Emma,” she shouted in surprise, fingers digging into the cold dirt and wet foliage beneath her, panic exploding in her chest.

     “Regina,” the blonde gasped, turning, running back towards her, fear resonating across her face.

     Their fingers just managed to touch when a magic tentacle formed around her ankle, and began to pull like a fishing line being reeled in, dragging her backwards.

_      No. _

_      No! _

     “Get away,” she yelled, quickly realizing that Emma was following her unarmed straight into danger. “Run, Emma! Go get the others!”

     She could handle this.

     Even if the portal tossed her somewhere other than here, she would find a way back.

     Traveling between worlds was nothing new to her.

     Time, she reasoned, shouldn’t be any different.

     But the blond foolishly ignored her.

     “No,” she shouted, diving at Regina--determined--grasping her by her jacket and rolling, trying to shake the magical tether off.

     But it didn’t work.

     In a few short breaths they found themselves nearing the open doors like entering the mouth of a hungry beast. Releasing a feral growl, Emma pulled with her arms, moving herself over Regina’s body until she was directly in the path of the gathering magic.

     Like a snap of a rope, Regina felt the coil let go...and latch onto the younger woman instead.

     “No,” she rasped, sitting up, watching in growing terror as the ethereal limb quickly slithered serpentine into the barn, rearing Emma like a marionette up onto her feet.

     Then the true horror began.

     Running, legs wobbly, Regina found herself barred from crossing into the magical circle Zelena had carved. Chest heaving, mind running wild, she stared at Emma who stood transfixed in the center, magic twisting tightly around her like she was the wick on a candle.

     “Emma,” she shouted, heart racing, pounding in her ears. “You idiot! What did you do?”

_      Why couldn’t she just for once listen to her? _

     “I made a choice,” she replied, so calm, so fierce, that Regina felt her heart stutter in its pace.

     Tears gathering unwillingly in her eyes, she shook her head, unable to comprehend the woman.

     “I could have handled this,” she berated, voice thick, cracking. “You should have left me to deal with this!”

     But Emma just smiled.

     And, oh, it broke something _ inside _ of her.

    It was far too reminiscent of Charming and an instant burned within her she wanted nothing more than to forget.

     “You know I couldn’t,” she argued right back.

     Regina hated her for it--temper, at heartache, rearing at the truth of her statement.

     “You are NOT my savior,” she barked, pacing around the portal, wave after wave of anxiety barraging her as she could see no way to break Emma free of its confines.

     “No, I’m your friend,” Emma shot fiercely, eyes blazing. “I’m your partner, the mother to OUR son.” She took in a deep breath, meeting Regina’s wide-eyed gaze, “And I want you to have--more than anything--what you deserve. What you have  _ earned _ , Regina.”

     In that moment her entire world tilted.

_      Emma thought they were friends? _

_      That they were...partners? _

     A rush of memories--of every moment they had experienced in the past three years--raced through her, and Regina saw it all in a new light.

     In a terrifying, bone chilling, sense of awareness.

   “No,” she began to hyperventilate. “No, you don’t get to do this! You don’t get to  _ sacrifice yourself for me _ !”

     Emma raised her chin, entire body standing tall and defiant at her words.

     “Then call it destiny,” she replied, “Because we both know I was never meant for all of this anyway.”

     A sob broke its way out of her.

     Irrationally, she tossed herself at the portal, disheartened--and unsurprised--when it pushed right back, knocking her to the barn floor.

     “Regina,” Emma begged softly, eyes forlorn.

     Just like in the mines.

     Tears streaming down her face, her soul screaming at her to do something, anything, she looked up to find the magic begging to seep into Emma’s being, filling her with racing lines of bright silvers and gold.

     “Be happy,” the blond asked of her, tears starting to stream down her chiseled face. “Live the life you have always wanted. Raise our son, do right by him. Be there for Snow, and David.”

     Everything was trembling around her.

     “Take this moment, and  _ never _ ,” Emma swore vehemently, “waste it.”

     The portal, at last reaching its final phase, began to break the young woman apart, stealing her entire being, piece by piece, like ashes in the wind, as she tragically watched on.

     “I love you,” Emma breathed so reverently that she just barely heard it over the rushing of the magical storm.

     But it was like a resounding shot in her ears, piercing through her body, striking into her very core.

     She was too frozen to speak, to even move, as Emma Swan--the daughter of Snow White, the Savior, the Sheriff, Henry’s mother--violently fade away.

 

     And then the portal was gone.

     Like a bulb going out, it burst bright white, then left in her darkness.

     Broken.

     Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.
> 
> Tears are ok, I certainly wiped my fair share away while writing this :(.
> 
> It appears the girls would like to make this a series. Don't worry, I already know what comes next...it's just getting to that apex.
> 
> In the mean time, if you haven't checked out "Emma Swan - Scream My Name" on youtube by Pearsonasnic, I highly recommend you do so. It was quite pivotal in how I chose to write Emma in this scene.
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> -J

**Author's Note:**

> If want to know where I sit emotionally as I'm writing this, I keep looping SYML's "Hurt for Me", and "Where's My Love", because the man has a gorgeous, aching, voice.


End file.
